Part Two: Calming Our Thoughts and Spirits
Pretty much everyone suffers from at least some degree of emotional stress from time to time. We also sometimes struggle to
figure out how to deal with this, or to make longer-term, constructive plans for ourselves, because of all the "background
noise" we have in our inner thoughts. This "noise" can be from memories of difficult past experiences, or concerns about what
might happen in the future, or even just a general build-up of relatively minor annoyances and other distractions.
During our research for this project we have found that whenever we've been going through a difficult time, or when we're
trying to make some positive changes in our lives, a useful first thing to do has been to just "slow things down" in our
thinking. This helps us to calm our emotions in the short term, to more rationally assess our current situations (both
physical and emotional), and eventually to come up with some more proactive plans and solutions for our futures.
We have an easy and flexible method for doing this, which also serves as a first step towards some more exciting things we
will be doing in the later sections of the website. However all it is for now is just a simple breathing exercise to give us
a basic sense of calmness and relaxation, and in turn a more positive outlook over our personal environments.
Here's how to do it:
1. Make some time for yourself
One of the best things about this technique is that it doesn't require a huge amount of free time to be effective, and it's
quite possible to get positive results even in just a few seconds. But if you can spare around half an hour or so as and when
you get the chance (perhaps at the very beginning or end of the day?) then that's pretty much ideal. Just try and make a
little time for yourself as and when you get the opportunity.
2. Find somewhere quiet
If you can, find a quiet and slightly darkened room where you can sit down for a few minutes in low light or with little to
no visual distractions. Some people like to sit on the floor in a cross-legged position when doing this, but that's not
really necessary so long as you don't become too comfortable to the extent that you end up falling asleep(!). Just
try sitting simply and comfortably on the floor, or upright on a not-too-well-cushioned chair.
It may be that you can't find even short periods of quiet for yourself if you have a really busy home or work environment. In
this case we suggest just looking for pretty much anywhere relatively peaceful away from your usual sources of stress or
diversion. This could be going for a walk out in the countryside, or a visit to a public park, or even a local library. If
there is no chance to sit down somewhere with less light or visual activity then just try to focus upon anything relatively
still or peaceful in your field of view, such as a tree or water feature when outdoors, or perhaps a plant, ornament or
painting if you're inside.
If you feel especially stressed, anxious, or just over-excited you can sometimes calm yourself by taking active control of
your eye movements and making them move in a more regular and measured pattern. This is done quickly and easily like this:
Start by looking straight ahead and then slowly, and without moving your head, move your eyes to look over to your left hand
side.
Stay looking in that direction and silently and slowly count to five.
Now gradually move your eyes to look all the way across to your right.
Stay looking to your right for another count of five, and then slowly and steadily return to looking straight forward again.
Repeat these steps one or two more times as you feel necessary.
Hopefully you will now feel that things might have "slowed down" a touch?
This is a useful way to calm ourselves down when we're in a hurry, and it can also be a helpful preparation for the main part
of this section that we are about to begin.
Now it's time to close your eyes, or just gently let them drift out of focus as you look at your peaceful scene.
It's good that we've chosen to come here. Now we can start to relax a little.
3. Feel, and then count, your breaths
The next thing we are going to do is to start paying some more attention to the speed and pattern of our breathing.
Begin by just gently breathing in and out at your own pace.
If you feel comfortable doing so, let yourself make a little more noise than usual as you breathe out, for example by
breathing more loudly out of your mouth. The sound (and feel) of our own breaths in a slow and steady pattern works almost
subconsciously to tell us that "things are ok", in contrast to our often more hurried and irregular breathing patterns during
times of stress.
We can further increase our awareness of this by counting through the progress of our breaths as they go in and out. In doing
so we also begin to feel as if we're taking some positive control over our internal condition.
First of all just slowly and silently count to four as you are taking an inward breath.
Now hold your breath inside and count to two.
Then slowly count to four again as you breathe out.
If you can, count to two before you start to breathe in again.
Repeat the breathing and counting a few times at your own pace. Keep repeating this and sooner or later you should begin to
notice a subtle, gentle calming of your feelings. Slowly you're starting to free yourself and move into a healthier state of
emotion.
Eventually, when you get comfortable enough, you'll realize that you don't really need to count your breaths anymore, and you
can instead just relax while listening to the sound of your own breathing, feeling as if you're almost "floating" in amongst a
peaceful silence.
Take your time, and enjoy the feeling of this new peace and quiet.
4. Enjoy the quiet and the drift
Hopefully you're starting to feel a little calmer and happier now you're here. This simple breathing exercise is something
anyone can do, as and when we get a little free time. We've been researching this method for a couple of years now, and pretty
much everyone who's tried it says that it really helps in terms of allowing them to take a break from the outside world for a
while and to then relax in a calm and peaceful sanctuary that they've created for themselves internally.
We're all in different situations in our day-to-day lives, be they good, bad or indifferent. Unfortunately there isn't
anything mystical or supernatural in this website with the ability to change our physical realities, or our relationships with
others and the outside world in general. But actually we DO all have the power to change how we feel about these
different situations on a personal level, by simply calming ourselves down, taking some time and quietening the "background
noise" in our lives. These are the benefits that come from gaining some inner silence, which not only gives us some relief
from our problems and stresses, but also lets us return to the outside world with a new and more relaxed perspective. This in
turn helps us to think things through more clearly, and so make positive changes to our lives as and when we can.
It will also help us to travel onwards to somewhere else, which we'll talk about later on in the section called "The Journey,
and Eltyesen". We'll get to that soon. For now let's just appreciate this new peace and calmness.
5. When you're ready, come back home
Stay here for as long as you like and then, when you're ready, we'll start to head back home again. We do this by steadily
counting through our breathing as we did before, but this time we'll do it a little differently.
So slowly breathe in and then, as you're breathing out, silently count a "one" in your head.
Then breathe in again, and this time count "two" as you breathe out. Do this for as long as you feel necessary, perhaps
getting up to a count of ten or so.
Now slowly open your eyes, and calmly and steadily take a look around you.
Maybe things look just a little brighter now, and a touch more peaceful? Perhaps we can now see things from a slightly fresher
and subtly more positive perspective?
Take some more slow breaths (there's no need to count them this time) and don't be afraid to make some sound by breathing more
loudly out of your mouth if you like.
Take another leisurely and relaxed look around, then get back to your feet and go back to your normal life.
Hopefully taking these few quieter moments for yourself will be of some help with the rest of your day. There's an interesting
and sometimes exciting world out there. If we take some time every once in a while to calm and quieten our inner thoughts,
then that will help us enjoy more of it for ourselves.